My homestay family, where do I begin????

Boris, my home stay father, is a terrific man, with about three teeth. He is 54 but looks 70. He is taller and darker than most others in the city. Rosa, my mother, is a thicker woman, shorter, and with lots of gray hairs...she looks like she has a treasure chest for a mouth, all gold teeth. Hasmik, my sister is studying for her entrance exams for college leaving her no free time.

Boris is a comedic man but one Thursday night he shared his life with me, and it was anything but funny. He sat next to me while I was eating my dinner and explained that he wanted to talk to me about who he is..."Sevana jan, I am not who you see. I am not the man I am now. I used to have money, used to have a job, used to have a life that I loved. I was a man who held his head up high, was proud of family and my life. I worked everyday for so long that not working is foreign to me...I want to tell you about myself before the earthquake...I was married to Ella...I loved her so much, she was beautiful, tall, skinny, amazing we lived in an apartment, that I bought, we had three boys, Hovik, Raffik, and Gagik...the earthquake took my love and my youngest child. They were stuck in the mess of a destroyed building and I watched for three days...I watched that building burn...I watched my wife and son burn. And now I live here...with Rosa, we don’t understand each other, but I live here. Hovik married a woman and left me, I have never seen his child, don’t know what he looks like. Raffik is in the army and away now too...Sevana jan, I am not an alcoholic but if I don’t drink everyday I will kill myself. I hate living, I hate my life...Sevana jan, I can’t smile anymore, and it hurts too much." He cried for an hour and I cried with him...

And then there’s Rosa Mamma. My very first day in her home, Rosa Mamma asked me if I would like to take a bath…I said yes and followed her into the bathroom to learn how to turn the water on, fill up the buckets, and clean up after the bath. I thought I had a good grasp of what I needed to do in order to bathe, but Rosa Mamma, didn’t think so. As I was in the middle of soaping, Rosa Mamma called my name and asked me if I needed help…I said no, but soon, in a matter of three seconds, there she was standing right in front of me, helping me with my bath. I lost my mind and instantly became uncomfortable. I explained that I didn’t need her help…and thought that putting my foot down might have actually worked. Nope. The next shower day, there she was again, in the bathroom holding the bucket and helping me bathe. I decided not to fight her. I decided to let her help me. And for about ten weeks, on every shower day, there she was, standing in the bathroom, holding a bucket of water, helping me bathe.

I took my first marshrutka (public minibus) ride with Hasmik, my sixteen year old host sister. We went to the center of Gyumri on the number 22 marshrutka. As soon as we wiggled our way into one and a half available seats the young mother next to me sat her baby on my lap. I looked over at Hasmik and she started to laugh at me. Her laughter made me realize that my reaction to the event was equivalent to seeing an alien…so I checked myself, took a breath, and accepted the baby and began to laugh as well. She put her hand on my lap and settled my confused and uneasy heart.

This was my family for ten weeks. This was my home for ten weeks. These are the people who allowed me to learn, cry, laugh, fight, forgive, and grow. These are the people who saw my lowest, weakest moments and shared my prideful accomplishments. They shared with me their pain, their pride, and their love. But more so, this is my family who allowed me to understand Gyumri, a city that I will always hold close to my heart. Gyumri is a city that I will never be able to speak about without crying.

Sevanna Naaman (USA)
AVC Volunteer and BR/DH participant