From Hay to Hayrenaser

One of the perks of doing Birthright is that you’ll always have something to do, every day is a new experience, from different job sites to weekly excursions and midweek Havaks/forums, these activities weren’t just placed as -a to do list- on your calendar, each one is a step, in your journey of connecting with your homeland and yourself !

On one regular Monday afternoon, birthright was hosting a Havak in their office, although hundreds of Havaks have been hosted by birthright but this one was special to me, because it was my first Havak !

I’ve followed birthright’s Instagram for years prior to applying, I’ve seen their office only through my screen, photos and videos of people gathered in this room doing different activities, watching movies, taking dancing classes, playing the guitar, etc…. They looked like they were having so much fun and I was eager to finally be a part of it, gather in their office and ‘have fun’ however I was shocked when I realized that havaks weren’t just about hanging out and laughing, they were much deeper and valuable.

My first Havak was a discussion circle with Sevan where he asked us to take a minute and think about what fears and concerns we might have during this experience and share them with each-other hoping that someone in the circle has been through a similar situation and can advise us on how to overcome these fears.

This was my first week i had just came back from my first excursion and made like 50 new friends, all i had in my mind was how fun everything is and how happy i was, it didn’t really cross my mind to think about what scares me (maybe i was subconsciously avoiding it), after i began thinking about, and hearing everyone’s input, i had finally concluded my fear and i shared it with everyone,

I said the following “this my 5th time in Armenia, my previous visits were only for 7-10 days, they were short with a packed agenda where every minute is precious and carefully planned a year in advance, so doing birthright and staying in Armenia for months was something new, i was worried that if i spend too much time here the magic and excitement would vanish, for example what if i visit cascade every day, will it be less exciting? If i see Ararat daily will i stop fantasizing about it as much as i did while i was in the diaspora?, and honestly the answers scared me, citing Sevan’s famous quote: “it’s a real country, with real people and real problems”, what if i spend too much time here and see that Armenia is a real country and not the fairytale i fantasize about, and realize that i might not like it!”

Now these thoughts made me panic, i thought havaks were supposed be fun, why am I panicking!, that was the moment i realized that Birthright wasn’t just about ‘having fun’, it’s about connecting with yourself and your roots with all the positive and negative emotions, this isn’t a summer trip where you visit Garni and Tsaghkadzor, take a couple of photos and then go back home, this is a journey to fully discover Armenia, its people and yourself.

After finishing my Birthright journey and living through Countless of experiences I had so much career growth and so much fun but most importantly I was able to find the answers to my previous concerns:

· Yes I did go to cascade every single day, and no it never became any less special, in fact now I connect it with beautiful memories I made with my new friends, cascade became much more precious.

· Yes I saw Ararat a lot, however, every time I saw it, it got even more beautiful ! And I still look forward to see it again.

· Yes I was misunderstood and sometimes felt left out due to my western dialect but I was also complemented many times and asked to never change my accent.

· Yes I had some cold encounters, a couple of bad mornings, some crazy taxi drivers but it taught me that Armenian isn’t perfect and neither am I, we all try our best.

· NO I don't fantasize about a perfect Armenia anymore, I saw its flaws and imperfections but I still love Armenia, I accept its flaws and love it, I feel closer to Armenia and myself than I ever had.

This program wasn’t just about having fun and doing an internship, (you’ll have plenty of that for sure!) but the main focus is immersing with Armenia, once you do it, you’ll be able to upgrade yourself from a hay to a hayrenaser.

Real country, real people, real problems but most importantly real connections …..