For stretching your arms so widely, like a bird stretches its wings to cover and protect all its children.
You really brought out the best in us, teaching us how to love, how to care, how to create meaningful and powerful bonds, at least try to do it and not be scared to live. How to live and not just exist.
In the intimate intricacies of it all and deepest hidden tracks you somehow made it easier to navigate this maze. In the perpetual search of everything, with the constant noise, you managed to alleviate the burden. You also added a lot more pain but how splendid of you to make us feel alive, every time.Trying to remember what we have forgotten.
Strong yet so gentle. Fierce, yet so compassionate.
Home is where my heart aches. And where we cry more. And where I feel the most alive ever.
I try to think of my best, strongest memory from Armenia and my mind gives me a blank space. Was it when we danced our beautiful dances and sang our songs all day and night long? When you finally found a feeling of "belonging," your circle, your consolation, your love and inspiration - all in one tiny moment, in one corner? When you got used to hearing "բարի լույս" every morning like it doesn't mean that you are someone's sunrise, someone's reason to rise and shine today. When you find peace and warmth in a church on a Sunday while feeling an echo of thousands of prayers under your skin?
On the day that marked my "1 month" in Armenia I made a note:
"It’s been a month here in Armenia… it doesn’t matter. Time doesn’t really matter anymore.
One month, two months, three months… nothing will change my perspective on this feeling and the concept of “home” that I’ve been searching for all my life.
They say it’s hard to live without a home. Like an uprooted tree. It’s not easy but I find it freeing."...
Was it the moment you realize you know the streets better than 3 weeks ago, when you know the lyrics of the songs that you loved since childhood and now can sing openly, from the bottom of your lungs? When every gesture and every breath was full of kindness, elegance and warmth coupled with raw authenticity and care? When you felt the kiss of sun on your skin and your soul every morning? The country of eternal sun…
The moment of a pivotal decision, when your eyes locked with those dark brown eyes in the crowd and you understood each other without words? When your friends wipe your tears because they feel your pain the same way you process it? When you can’t sleep till 5 am because how can you even fall asleep with this avalanche of emotions storming through your veins?
I'm collecting these memories like sparkling shining diamonds on a thin thread, so afraid to lose or break any of them, they are so fragile, so precious.
Thank you for giving a sense of purpose in a world where it seems like there is no ground under your feet anymore. There are a few things in life so beautiful and profound that it hurts. And each tear is a healer. We are all just walking each other home. BR, thank you for changing our lives.
“Perhaps we smile more in the dark because the darkness craves our light”.
Armenia,I love you more than you’ll ever know…